UACES Facebook Five Tips When Dealing with Anger
skip to main content

Konnecting with Kris Blog

Konnecting with Kris Blog

Connect with Saline County FCS agent Kris Boulton.

Five Tips When Dealing with Anger

Most of us get angry fairly often even though it is hard on our bodies and hard on relationships. Why do people get angry? Maybe we don't know what else to do. Maybe we think it is effective. Maybe it is a habit.

The fact is that being angry is bad for our bodies. Anger damages our hearts. In addition, when we are angry with others, it usually does not motivate healthy change in the people with whom we are angry. Think about it from the receiver's perspective: When someone is mad at us, do we feel trusting and motivated to do better? No. We are less likely to trust or feel close to the person who has gotten angry at us. And we often don't feel like doing what they want.

Fortunately, there are very good ways of dealing with anger. Each of us can find ways that work for us. For example, reasoning with ourselves is one way of dealing with anger: "Cars breakdown. This car has a lot of miles and it was time to expect some problems."

Tip 1 We can distract ourselves

When someone has done something that makes us mad, we can choose to think about something else. We can come back to the concern later when we have had time to settle down and learn more about the situation. We can delay conversations where anger and irritation might get in the way of listening to and understanding the other person.

Tip 2 We can meditate, pray, or do deliberate relaxing

The traditional practice of counting to ten can be useful if we use the time to breathe deeply and relax. Counting to ten will not do any good if we use the time to plot revenge!

Tip 3 We can make a joke

Tip three, we can make a joke. Imagine the driver who cut in front of you as someone you know or possibly a cartoon character. Think about the person not being the one that's made you angry, but possibly someone wearing a wig and some false teeth-then they don't make you angry. It also helps us to understand other people rather than get mad at them.

Tip 4 We can let people know our needs

If you have a friend or a family member that always tracks mud into the house, you can say, hey, I'm trying to keep the floors clean. I wonder if you can help me. When you come inside would you scrape your shoes or take them off before you come in? Many annoyances can be avoided if we just let someone else know our needs.

Tip 5 We can do things to prevent anger

It helps to get enough rest. It helps to have friends. Some people find having a pet to be relaxing. Also, we can be involved in hobbies or service. Anything that helps us be more peaceful can help us avoid anger.

Bonus Tip:  It helps us to be aware of when we're getting irritated.

Sometimes we don't even notice our irritation and it grows into anger. It's a good idea to notice when you start to get angry and take action before that anger grows. That way, we can soothe ourselves before we have a situation.

Of course, it's never good to bottle up anger. And that's not what I'm saying we need to do. We do need to learn healthy ways to process our anger. So it's good for our own health and it's good for our relationships. It's healthy to forgive, relax, forget, reflect, and understand.

We can learn tips and techniques that can help us deal with our anger and process through it so we can be calmer, have healthier bodies and healthier relationships.