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Five Tips When Dealing with Anger
Kris Boulton Phone: (501) 303-5672Email: email@example.com
Connect with Saline County FCS agent Kris Boulton.
Most of us get angry fairly often even though it is hard on our bodies and hard on
relationships. Why do people get angry? Maybe we don't know what else to do. Maybe
we think it is effective. Maybe it is a habit.
The fact is that being angry is bad for our bodies. Anger damages our hearts. In addition,
when we are angry with others, it usually does not motivate healthy change in the
people with whom we are angry. Think about it from the receiver's perspective: When
someone is mad at us, do we feel trusting and motivated to do better? No. We are less
likely to trust or feel close to the person who has gotten angry at us. And we often
don't feel like doing what they want.
Fortunately, there are very good ways of dealing with anger. Each of us can find ways
that work for us. For example, reasoning with ourselves is one way of dealing with
anger: "Cars breakdown. This car has a lot of miles and it was time to expect some
When someone has done something that makes us mad, we can choose to think about something
else. We can come back to the concern later when we have had time to settle down and
learn more about the situation. We can delay conversations where anger and irritation
might get in the way of listening to and understanding the other person.
The traditional practice of counting to ten can be useful if we use the time to breathe
deeply and relax. Counting to ten will not do any good if we use the time to plot
Tip three, we can make a joke. Imagine the driver who cut in front of you as someone
you know or possibly a cartoon character. Think about the person not being the one
that's made you angry, but possibly someone wearing a wig and some false teeth-then
they don't make you angry. It also helps us to understand other people rather than
get mad at them.
If you have a friend or a family member that always tracks mud into the house, you
can say, hey, I'm trying to keep the floors clean. I wonder if you can help me. When
you come inside would you scrape your shoes or take them off before you come in? Many
annoyances can be avoided if we just let someone else know our needs.
It helps to get enough rest. It helps to have friends. Some people find having a pet
to be relaxing. Also, we can be involved in hobbies or service. Anything that helps
us be more peaceful can help us avoid anger.
Sometimes we don't even notice our irritation and it grows into anger. It's a good
idea to notice when you start to get angry and take action before that anger grows.
That way, we can soothe ourselves before we have a situation.
Of course, it's never good to bottle up anger. And that's not what I'm saying we need
to do. We do need to learn healthy ways to process our anger. So it's good for our
own health and it's good for our relationships. It's healthy to forgive, relax, forget,
reflect, and understand.
We can learn tips and techniques that can help us deal with our anger and process
through it so we can be calmer, have healthier bodies and healthier relationships.