Navigating Life's Journey Blog
Helping others navigate this journey of Life!
A weekly blog from the Family & Consumer Sciences Department
Co-parenting After Divorce: 6 Guiding Principles for Success
Accept what is
We must accept the end of the marriage before we can enter into a healthy co-parenting relationship.If you are still trying to figure out why or how the marriage ended, it will blur your ability to treat your ex in a loving way.Do not rush yourself through this important process.
Put the children first every day
Live with intention. Find a way to remind yourself that today you will put the children first and you will treat your co-parent with love and respect. Create a mantra and repeat it as needed. For example, " Model loving behavior" is a great mantra to repeat throughout the day.
Compliment your ex
When your children share a story with you about your ex, challenge yourself to compliment your ex’s parenting.There are so many opportunities to show your kids that you see good in their other parent .
If you mess up and talk down to or about your ex in front of the kids, do the right thing and apologize. The ego must be set aside when co-parenting. Set a good example for your children and ease any tension that may have been caused.
Keep some pre-divorce traditions
It's okay to still celebrate your children's birthdays together. It is a priceless gift to the birthday child. It also offers a full family tradition for their memory bank and it models loving behavior and well-placed priorities.
Learn from your mistakes
It is okay to mess up as a parent and an ex-spouse. It is an opportunity for growth. When you find yourself breaking one of you own personal co-parenting commandments, hold yourself accountable. Spend some time before bed, reviewing your behavior for the day.