Friendship Fuels Romance

by Ashley Henderson - July 6, 2017

Friendship fuels the flames of romance. - John Gottman

As couples age, and progress in their marriages, they often fail to keep doing the things that brought them together in the first place. Marriage is a commitment or promise between two people to faithfully stick with one another through the good times and the bad times. Commitment is a quality of strong, healthy, and enduring marriages and it is a key to any intimate, emotionally satisfying, and meaningful relationship. Commitment is the glue that holds marriages together when many stressors try to rip it apart.

Rediscovering Your Partner

John Gottman, a professor and marriage researcher at the University of Washington, believes that friendship is the key to lasting marriage. Most secure marriages are built on a base of strong friendship that serves as the support for other aspects of the relationship.

Knowing your partner well leads to a strong friendship. Test your knowledge of your partner by answering the following True or False questions that have been adapted from John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

I can name my partner's best friends.
I know my partner's favorite type of music.
I know my partner's favorite movie.
I know my partner's most stressful childhood event.
I know my partner's most embarrassing moment.
I know what my partner would do if he/she won the lottery.
I know what my partner's ideal job would be.
I know my partner's ideal place to live.
I know the things that currently cause my partner stress.
I know the names of the people that have irritated my partner recently.
I know some of my partner's life dreams.
I am very familiar with my partner's religious beliefs.
I know my partner's favorite and least favorite relatives.
I feel like my partner knows me pretty well.
I trust my partner.
My partner trusts me.

If you were able to answer true to more than half of the questions, you know your partner pretty well. If not, take some time to find the answers to these and other important questions about your partner. It will help your friendship and your commitment to your partner to grow. Share the answers on your list with your partner and enjoy the conversation that will follow.

To find out more:
Read Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman
Check out UAEX's resources on marriage: uaex.uada.edu/marriage