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5 tips on how to maintain a healthy, loving relationship 365 days a year.
Nashville, Ark. – Valentine’s Day may be the traditional day that love is celebrated,
but love really must be cultivated year ‘round. Candy, flowers, poetry and other romantic
treats or gestures are thoughtful ways to observe a relationship in bloom but are
not likely to do much for a relationship that been neglected since the last gift-giving
According to Dr. Wallace Goddard, co-author of The Marriage Garden, there are five things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship 365 days a year.
“Psychology tells us that what we as humans tend to see is what we look for. If we
look for offenses against us or if we look for selfishness or faults in a partner,
we’ll probably find it. If we look for graciousness, kindness and goodness, we’ll
probably find them,” says Goddard. There is often a “hardening of categories” in marriage,
meaning that people tend to see their partners in a certain way. Next they start to
look for confirming evidence this is true and the cycle continues.
John Gottman, one of the country’s foremost authorities in marriage research, says
that a trip to Hawaii won’t heat up a relationship if you haven’t kept the pilot light
“It isn’t the great big events that are the key to having a continuing healthy relationship.
Instead the little conversations, the spending 10 to 15 minutes a day to catch up
on each other, the doing little things together, whether it’s working in the yard
or painting a room or watching videos. Little things done together regularly provide
maintenance that’s very important,” say Goddard.
Jonathan Haidt, talks about the idea that in the early stages of a relationship the
romance initially skyrockets and then starts to decline within a short period of time.
For a relationship to continue, it’s important for people to evolve gracefully from
the electric jolt of early romance to the sweet satisfaction of being with someone
whose company is comforting.
Gottman recommends keeping a list of the qualities that we enjoy in our partner in
a wallet, keeping photos of cherished times handy, or keeping a small scrapbook handy
to page through every now and then and remind us of the good times and help us remember
what we enjoyed about them in the first place. That is the key to a healthy relationship.
If you are looking for something for your Valentine this year, check out the “free”
publication, “Marriage Garden” available from the Howard County Extension Office. The publication, along with the
publication series, “Financial Smart Start for Newlyweds” is a free gift to anyone
applying for a marriage license in Howard County. It’s your free gift from me!
In fact, these publications are available to anyone, just contact the Howard County
Extension office at 870-845-7517 or visit our office located on the second floor of
the courthouse or download from our website.
Download publications for personal finances and relationship building.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Here is a tasty recipe you can make this Valentine’s Day. This recipe looks impressive
without a lot of fuss! Serve with your favorite veggies or salad and a whole wheat
roll for a complete dinner.
6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 4 ounces each), all visible fat
1 Tablespoon finely chopped fresh chives or 1 teaspoon dried
1 Tablespoon finely chopped fresh basil or 1 teaspoon dried, crumbles
¼ teaspoon paprika
Freshly ground pepper to taste
3 ounces nonfat or part-skim mozzarella cheese, shredded
Preheat oven to 400⁰F.
Place chicken breasts in a zipper type bag. Seal.
Flatten breasts to ¼ to ½-inch thick.
Remove and place chicken breasts on a flat surface or plate.
Evenly sprinkle each breast with chives, basil, paprika, and pepper.
Form cheese into 6 loose balls and place one in the center of each breast.
Roll chicken around cheese, making sure the ends are tucked in.
Tie each breast with 100% cotton twine or cooking twine to retain cheese. You could
also use toothpicks or small metal skewers to seal each breast portion.
Place stuffed chicken breasts in an ungreased baking dish.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until chicken has turned white throughout.
Chicken should register 165⁰F on a food thermometer.
Allow chicken to cool about 10 minutes before serving.
Yield 6 servings.
Nutrition facts per serving-Calories 158, Protein 30g, Carbohydrate 1g, Fat 3g, Sodium
Note: You might add a basic sauce to top the chicken breasts before serving. Keep
in mind any sauce you add will increase nutrient content.
By Jean Ince County Extension Agent - Staff ChairThe Cooperative Extension ServiceU of A System Division of Agriculture
Media Contact: Jean Ince County Extension Agent - Staff ChairU of A Division of AgricultureCooperative Extension Service421 N. Main St, Nashville AR 71852 (870) 845-7517 email@example.com