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Is avoiding conflict at all cost the correct thing to do?
Nashville, Ark. – Live with a person and eventually you will have conflict. It just
happens. Everyone experiences conflict in their personal relationships and daily lives
from time to time. It is a normal part of human interaction. The way you handle conflict
is the challenge. Solving conflict without hurting the other person’s feelings is
not easy to do.
Conflict happens when something happens that is different from what we
expected or hoped for. Often, we interpret the difference as unfair. Or when someone
blames or accuses us, we react, often negatively.
In families, the reaction may be to initiate the “silent” treatment or fight back.
If we choose the silent treatment, a cold war could erupt. If we choose to fight back,
there may be an explosive situation. Whether we pout or fight back, a lot of time
and energy can be wasted, and irreparable damage may occur.
So, avoiding conflict at all costs is the correct thing to do, right? Not necessarily.
Sometimes, conflict can have positive benefits. Here are some ways:
While it is not suggested to go out and look for conflicts, it is important
to note that conflict can provide you with some new directions and opportunities.
It may help solve a problem in a positive way. For example, a couple may have a disagreement
(conflict) about how family finances are handled. There never seems to be enough money.
This conflict may cause the family to develop and stay within a budget, which is a
positive outcome. Here are some steps to handling disagreements in a positive way:
Once a solution is decided upon that everyone is willing to try, put the process into
action. If, after a while, the solution is not working, you may need to back up and
come up with other ideas.
Remember, people (especially families and couples) can’t avoid all conflict and that’s
okay. In fact, conflict is a normal part of a relationship. However, you can learn
to follow positive ways in handling conflict, which in turn develops healthy relationships.
For more information on family issues, contact the Howard County Extension Office
at 870-845-7517 or visit our office located on the second floor of the courthouse.
You can also check out the website www.uaex.uada.edu/life-skills-wellness/personal-family-well-being.
Additional information for this article was adapted from National Resource Center
for Healthy Marriage and Families and Clemson University Cooperative Extension Service.
It’s hot and humid outside. This recipe is perfect as a side dish to any
meal and it doesn’t heat up the kitchen! For extra nutrient value try using whole
2 cups cooked pasta (any shape)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 pinch of crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
1 cup diced cucumber
1 large tomato, seeds removed and chopped
½ green pepper, diced
1 small onion, minced
½ cup frozen peas, thawed
Cook the pasta following package instructions, drain, and cool in the
refrigerator. Collect, dice, and measure all ingredients.
Whisk together oil, vinegar, salt, black pepper, garlic powder, Italian
seasoning, and crushed red pepper flakes (if using) in a large bowl. Add the pasta,
cucumber, tomato, green pepper, onion, and peas. Mix all ingredients together until
vegetables and pasta are evenly coated.
Cover and refrigerate for one hour. Stir before serving. Yield: 6 servings.
Nutrition Information per Serving (1 cup) – Calories 150, Fat 8g, Sodium 200mg, Carbohydrate
17g, Fiber 2g, Protein 4g
By Jean Ince County Extension Agent - Staff ChairThe Cooperative Extension ServiceU of A System Division of Agriculture
Media Contact: Jean Ince County Extension Agent - Staff Chair U of A Division of Agriculture Cooperative Extension Service 421 N. Main St, Nashville AR 71852 (870) 845-7517 email@example.com
The Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service is an equal opportunity/equal access/affirmative
action institution. If you require a reasonable accommodation to participate or need
materials in another format, please contact your County Extension office (or other
appropriate office) as soon as possible. Dial 711 for Arkansas Relay. The University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture offers all its Extension
and Research programs and services without regard to race, color, sex, gender identity,
sexual orientation, national origin, religion, age, disability, marital or veteran
status, genetic information, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative
Action/Equal Opportunity Employer.